This week on WMFE-FM, I chat with 90.7’s Nicole Creston about the rules and regulations that restaurants must follow to allow dogs on their patios. You can hear my segments Fridays at 5:45 p.m. and again Saturday mornings at 9:35. Or, you can always hear the podcasts here.

It’s been a big week for dogs and restaurants. And dogs in restaurants.

First, there was the Westminster Kennel Club dog show at New York’s Madison Square Garden to determine what lazy headliners around the country inevitably would name the “top dog” in the world of canine breeding. That’s always followed by a trip the following morning to the morning talk shows and, traditionally, a meal at Sardi’s, the legendary Theater Land restaurant.

This year there was a bit of a kerfuffle when New York’s sanitation department decided that it could no longer avoid the pekinese in the room and declared that henceforth there would be no more doggie dining at Sardi’s.

Luckily, mayor Michael Bloomberg realized that a lot of voters are dog lovers and had a conversation with the head of the sanitation department. The tradition will live on with a special annual dispensation for the Westminster winner.

And there was another win for doggies in Seminole County this week when commissioners voted to permit restaurants to allow dogs. Orlando and other communities have allowed dogs on patios for years, ever since then-governor Jeb Bush signed a state “doggie dining” law that gave the power to municipalities to approve the issue.

So now we have a number of places where dog and owner can be together while one of them dines. The dog is not allowed to partake in the food at one of these restaurants. That’s one of the rules.

What’s that? You didn’t know there are rules? Don’t feel bad, apparently a lot of restaurants don’t know about the rules, either.

In Orlando, restaurants that wish to be approved as dog friendly must file an application, along with a $250 filing fee. In order to be considered, the restaurant must have an outdoor patio that is accessible from the outdoors. In other words, if the only way to the patio is through the restaurant’s dining room, it cannot allow dogs. I suppose that makes sense, although in other countries it isn’t unusual to see a dog sleeping at the feet of its owner in a restaurant. No one seems to die from dog poisoning.

But there are other stipulations in the Orlando ordinance that I rarely see practiced. To wit:

“All public food service establishment employees shall wash their hands promptly after touching, petting, or otherwise handling any dog. Employees shall be prohibited from touching, petting, or otherwise handling any dog while serving food or beverages or handling tableware or before entering other parts of the public food service establishment.”

I love that one. It says that workers are prohibited — PROHIBITED! — from touching a dog, then tells them what to do after they touch the dog.

“Patrons in a designated outdoor area shall be advised that they should wash their hands before eating. Waterless hand sanitizer shall be provided at all tables in the designated outdoor area.”

Ignoring the mother-like tone of telling guests to “wash up” before dinner, I must say that I’ve never seen hand sanitizer provided anywhere near the tables on patios allowing dogs, let alone on every table.

“Dogs shall not be allowed on chairs, tables, or other furnishings.”

In other words, you cannot attempt to recreate the classic painting of dogs sitting around a table playing poker.

And my favorite:

“Patrons shall keep their dogs on a leash at all times and shall keep their dogs under reasonable control.”

Hell, most of them can’t keep their kids under reasonable control, what hope is there with the dogs?

There’s also a line about there being some sort of a kit nearby to deal with dog waste emergencies, but there is no information on exactly what might be in that kit or where one can obtain one.

Anyway, it makes for fun reading. Here’s a link to the Dog-Friendly Dining Application if you’d like to see the whole thing.

And if you’d like to take your dog with you, here’s a link to the dog-friendly restaurants that I’ve included in my restaurant listings.

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